Abstinence


Abstinence means different things to different people. For some people it means no touching at all and for others, it means everything but sexual intercourse. If you want to be 100% safe when it comes to sex, then total abstinence is the way to go. If used in a way that there is no exchange of fluids (semen, pre-ejaculatory fluid, vaginal fluid, menstrual blood, blood or breast milk), or contact with another person’s genitals, even with your mouth or hand, it can be 100% effective against pregnancy and STIs.

You can choose abstinence at any time, regardless of previous sexual experience with the same person or a previous partner. You can also be abstinent for any length of time – a week, a month or years. It’s really up to you.

People choose abstinence for many different reasons. Someone’s culture or religion might forbid sex before marriage, or someone might not feel like he/she has the time or energy for sex right then. Some people choose abstinence because the situation they are in doesn’t feel right for sex, or they want to avoid pregnancy and STIs. Whatever the reason, every person has the right to choose abstinence any time…any place…in any situation.

Sometimes choosing abstinence is not easy. Pressure from friends, partners, family and the media, or your own sexual desire can make abstinence challenging. Using drugs or alcohol can cloud a person’s judgement and lead to decisions that he or she may later regret. If you are feeling pressured to have sex and don’t want to, then talk to someone you trust about how to communicate your boundaries. See Sexual Boundaries. Use your own values to guide you and make a plan about how you will cope with these pressures.



Am I ready for sex?

Some people who have chosen abstinence in the past find themselves unprepared for protecting themselves against pregnancy and STIs when they do decide to become sexually active. It’s a good idea to learn about all the safer sex and birth control options regardless of whether you are choosing abstinence at the moment. See Birth Control.
Being ready for sex is about more than physical protection against pregnancy and STIs. It’s also about being emotionally, mentally and spiritually prepared to deal with potential consequences. Take the time you need to consider your how you feel about it before you go ahead and “do it.” See Am I Ready for Sex in relationships section.